Wednesday, February 29, 2012

February 2012 Ballot For Usenet Kook Awards


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here follows the one true ballot for the February 2012 Usenet Kook awards.
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt,
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote
Wrangler's discretion if
* you are a previous winner of the Bobo Award or KotM
* you attempt to vote twice
* you vote anonymously or with an unidentified sockpuppet
* you vote for or against yourself
* you vote in a thread other than this one
* you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to
  AUK
* you vote in a follow-up to an incomplete or altered version of
  the ballot
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have
until 23:59 GMT on March 8th 2012 to cast your votes. Vote wisely;
next time the candidate might be *you*.
***
KooK of the Decade 2001 - 2010                                                                      

All winners of KotM in the years 2001 - 2010 are eligible.  For the complete list, go here:
http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/p/award-winners-1994-2012.html
(Vote for one candidate)





KooK of the Month                                                                                      
(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

Alien the Anonymous Coward
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee
neither of the above

Clueless Newbie of the Month (Special Presentation)

(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

Greg "Neal Warren" Hall (ipv6 virgin)
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee
neither of the above

Coward of the Month

(vote yes or no)

fasgnadh "James Murdoch" "Indecisive Soldier of God"

Looney Maroon Award

(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson
Pat Buchanan
neither of the above

Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award

(vote for one candidate or "none of the above")

Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty (Michael McCarty)
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson
Rusty "Grand Wizard" Tavek
none of the above

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(vote yes or no)

David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee, Ignis "Igneous" Fatuus, Respondant "Bill"

Palmjob Paddle

(vote for one candidate or "none of the above")

Archimedes Plutonium
fasgnadh "James Murdoch" "Indecisive Soldier of God" 
Alien the Anonymous Coward
none of the above

Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award

(vote for one candidate or "neither of the above")

Archimedes Plutonium
Ignis Fatuus "Igneous Rockius"
neither of the above

Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award

(vote "yes or "no")

David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee

George Pickett Memorial Trophy

(vote "yes" or "no")

Archimedes Plutonium

George Armstrong Custer "Kicked @$$" Award

(vote "yes" or "no")

Archimedes Plutonium

Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart

(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

Archimedes Plutonium
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee
neither of the above

Kluck Lysaght "Tar & Feathers" Award

(vote "yes" or "no")

Archimedes Plutonium

Busted Urinal Award

(vote for one candidate or for "none of the above")

Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty (Michael McCarty)
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson
Archimedes Plutonium
none of the above  

Unabomber Surprise

(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

One <NESSIE@NU.RU>
fasgnadh "James Murdoch" "Indecisive Soldier of God"
neither of the above  

72 Raisins "Crackpot Religion" Award                                               

(vote for one candidate or for "neither of the above")

Obves "The Bible Doctor" "Marian"
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee
neither of the above  

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck

(vote for one candidate or "none of the above")

Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee
Archimedes Plutonium
none of the above

Order of the Holey Sockpuppet

(vote "yes" or "no")

Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty (Michael McCarty)

Balsa Gavel

(vote "yes" or "no" )

Archimedes Plutonium

Office of Darth Bawl

(vote for one candidate)

Greg "Neal Warren" Hall (incumbent)
Archimedes Plutonium

Office of Village Idiot                                                                                            

(vote for one candidate)

Greg "Neal Warren" Hall (incumbent)
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee

Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker                                              

(vote for one candidate)

Peter J. Ross and Fred Hall "FNVW Fight"
Fred Hall "Troll of Rusty Tavek"

Hammer of Thor

(vote "yes" or "no")(In order to win, ratio of yes to no votes must be 3:1)

Checkmate

XTRA SPESHUL CATEGORY!!!

Snarky, Stephen Wilson, A Loaf of Bread, Snowman, Robert Weldon, William Grosvenor, His Divine Shadow, Mr. SmartyPants, Pandora (Usenet Goddess), and PV, as a group, for all AUK awards. 

Sorry, Yads, once again: YHBT!!!1!




Sunday, February 26, 2012

Updated February 2012 Nominations Needing A Second

LOONEY MAROON

Pat Buchanan.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second:

PALMJOB PADDLE

Alien.  Nominated by Johnny Dollar.  Second: Cujo

VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN

Daniel San.  Nominated by China Bleu.  Second:


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Successful Fishing Trip

Caught a good buzz both days, a bunch of ZZzZZ's, and several good hands of poker.  A success in my book. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

February 2012 Nominations Needing A Second

CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH**


David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadalee.  Nominated by PV.  Second:


** For February 2012 only, previous winners will be eligible


LOONEY MAROON AWARD


Pat Buchanan.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second:


PALMJOB PADDLE


fasgnadh.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second:


VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD


Daniel San.  Nominated by China Bleu. Second:



Monday, February 13, 2012

k00k Lits 0'Haet on teh InnerWebz

http://cyberbullyingreport.com/bullies/#&&area=12

Emmett Gulley, not being satisfied with conducting his jihad in alt.usenet.kooks, and on Facebook, has taken his fight to the above referenced webshite.  This is the sort of obsession that landed Mr. Gulley in Federal prison back in 1998, and the reason he is confined to the AUK Galactic Killfile.  We here at Black Helicopter News are unsure of Mr. Gulley's ultimate goal, and we suspect that even he doesn't know.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Offishul Pardon For Miguel


Be it known that miguel has been officially pardoned for any crimes,
real or imagined, that he committed against Fluffy and The Cabal
(tinc).  His right to nominate, second, and vote is hereby restored.

This regime is fully committed to a policy of rehabilitation and
restoration.  Miguel has met the requirements of restoration.  Fluffy
welcomes him with open paws.


Proposal: A Pardon For Miguel


It has been formally proposed by the new owner of DataBasix that "miguel" be pardoned for any crimes, real or imagined, that he committed against Fluffy, The Cabal (tinc), and representatives of The Cabal.  This formal proposal was seconded by FNVWE Peter J. Ross.  This proposal appears to have the support of many in alt.usenet.kooks.

I.  The Facts

1) Miguel won the Kook of the Month Award for March 2007
2) Miguel received 18 votes, Nightbat 13 votes, neither of the above 3  
    votes, indicating that nearly 50% of the voters did not consider
    miguel worthy of KotM honors
3) Many of those who voted for miguel as KotM now say that he deserves
    to be pardoned
4) miguel posted RL info (a very serious offense)
5) miguel mocked the FNVW (a serious offense)
6) miguel mocked the awards process (a serious offense)
7) kookologists posted RL info about miguel (a serious offense)
8) since winning KotM miguel has engaged in Diamond Hammer of Thor
    worthy activities by standing his ground against Atlas Buggered
9) miguel has since apologized for his sins

II. The case for pardoning miguel

1) Many kookologists, including a FNVWE,  who voted to award miguel
    KotM for March 2007, now support a pardon
2) Precedent exists for pardoning a KotM winner.  See Beckwith and SP
3) This FNVW, on assuming the position...<ahem>...upon becoming FNVW
    stated that my goal was rehabilitation and repentance of kooks,
    bringing them back to Fluffy, if you will
4) Charlotte L Blackmer: "The Migs awards flurry in the spring of 2007
     always seemed like a feeding frenzy to me. There was a lot of bad
     behavior ON ALL SIDES.   I present the infamous Google-stacking  
     episode as Exhibit A. People who should have known better also
     apparently took all the information  provided by Migs' obsesso
     fanboi Wonderbra Chaney at face value, not stopping to think
     that, hey, Wonderbra is a real-lifing outer-filthing net.kook of
     long standing. I know that some of the people who participated in
     that realize now that it was not their finest shining hour and
     looked in the mirror andsaid "I fucked up, but I'm better now."
     <jh20hi$8qs$1@blue-new.rahul.net>
5) Peter J Ross: "... the Bugfuck Kooksuit is the most exciting
    law-related event on Usenet since Helena Kobrin tried to have
    alt.religion.scientology removed from the world's news-servers.
    The people who spanked Kobrin were rewarded by AUK - so
    why not reward the people who spanked Bugfuck?
    <slrnjj8o9e.t2u.pjr@pjr.no-ip.org>
6) Steve Leyland, net.legend, in March 2007: "can somewon pleace poast
    a lits of which wons are teh kooks and which are teh
    kookologists?" <etnop5$atv$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com>
 7) Jade, net.legend, posted this in March 2007:

"I would like to humbly submit to you
and AUK a nomination for the golden killfile, not of a kook, troll or
any other individual, but for a group of threads that constitute an
incident. This ongoing melodrama involves many individuals whom I
respect and call friends, but who have fallen under the dark cloud of
its most irritating spell. It has crossed the lines of kookology and
gone on to become, personal and serious, the two worst kinds of black
magic on usenet. Most of all, it has become dismally boring. Evinced
by the obvious enjoyment of the most boring k00ks. I, for one count
myself as a woman who damn well deserves to be entertained at all
times.
With no respect to singling out any individual participant, I nominate
the whole boring plot, the dimestore novel I would have put down after
ten pages, the movie I would have walked out on, for recognition as
belonging in the golden killfile.
I nominate the collection of threads known as "AUK vs. Miguel"
May they fade into obscurity and be forgotten." -- Jade
 <a5en13htu9r5gr9kq19ic2bc5t1ukmrm6n@4ax.com>

8)miguel has apologized for his part in the events of 2007

III. The case for not pardoning miguel

No arguments have been presented to oppose miguel's pardon


Please feel free to comment.  I'll hand down my ruling later today.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

Current Work In Progress

The current WIP is a list of Galactic Killfile residents.  The list will be posted here, and at fnvw.databasix.com.

Formosa list:

  1. jyeshta -- 
  2. Koos Nolst Trenite -- 


Current and past residents so far:
  1. alt.flame.niggers --  released January 2012 due to net.death
  2. alt.snuh -- released July 2004, released January 2012
  3. Atlas Bugged -- incarcerated September 2007, released January 2012, re-incarcerated February 2012
  4. bisectional -- released January 2012
  5. Brandon Hex -- incarcerated March 2004, released July 2004, re-incarcerated August 2004, released January 2012
  6. Bruce, Michael Baldwin -- released January 2012
  7. Cain, Alexander -- released January 2012
  8. Fries, Rhonda Lea Kirk--  incarcerated May 2007, released January 2012
  9. Gore, Linda --  released January 2012, re- incarcerated February 2012
  10. Gulley, Emmett Earl --released January 2012, re- incarcerated February 2012
  11. Hall, Greg "Neal Warren" -- incarcerated December 2011,  released January 2012
  12. Honest John/Sergeant Preston --  released January 2012
  13. Hll, Thomas --  released January 2012
  14. Jessness, Brad --  released January 2012
  15. jet --  incarcerated June 2005, released January 2012
  16. Lady Pilot --  incarcerated December 2011,  released January 2012
  17. Lawrence, Derek -- incarcerated March 2204, released July 2004, re-incarcerated August 2004, released January 2012
  18. miguel --  January 2012
  19. Lyons, Lynne -- released January 2012, re-incarcerated February 2012
  20. Napolis, Diana "Curio" -- ineligible for release.  Life sentence, no pardon or parole
  21. Perkoff, Steve --  released January 2012
  22. Professeur Von TwoSteps --  released January 2012
  23. Runyon, Jeanette -- Life sentence, ineligible for release
  24. Schwarz, Barbara   -- released January 2012, re-incarcerated February 2012
  25. Soapy -- released January 2012
  26. swiftcall@yahoo.com -- incarcerated June 2008,  released January 2012
  27. Thorne, Tim -- released October 2007, re-incarcerated November 2007, released August 2008
  28. Wills, Kent --  released January 2012
  29. Ying Guo --  released January 2012, re-incarcerated February 2012
  30. Young, Steve "Bowtie/Fly Cooter" -- released January 2012, re-incarcerated February 2012

Nominations Now Being Accepted


For the February 2012 ballot.

Keep in mind that Emmett Gulley has been returned to his suite in The Galactic Killfile and is no longer eligible for awards.  But, weep not for Crappantz ShittyPanties!  The GaK is no Abu Ghraib!  His suite has been thoroughly cleansed by the Cabal Biohazard Team, no trace of dried fecal matter remains, and emmy has been issued a 30 day supply of clean underwear and designer orange-striped jumpsuits, for those days when he can't help shitting himself.

Winners! Usenet kook Awards, January 2012


Despite the claims by Emmett "Crappantz ShittyPanties" Gulley that the
Usenet Kook Awards were banned forever, the time has come to announce
the results of the January 2012 Usenet Kook Awards.  Down here in Deep
East Texas we'uns call that a  SPNAK and SMACKDOWN on ShittyPanties.
Without further ado, Col. Jake would you please cue The Velvet
Knights?

<drumroll>

BOBO
The winner is...ATLAS BUGGED!
Yes...22
No......3

KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...% squiggle teh AssWorm!
%........................20
Atlas Bugged.........5
none of the above..1

Well done, squiggle!  Your Usenet brethren and sistern decided to
reward you for your 400,000+ posts consisting of "hi" "boner" and
"yay!

CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winners are...JANITHOR and % !  A tie!
Janithor...............11
%........................11
none of the above..0

Congratulations filthy support group trolls!  I find it fitting that
the two of you get to share this award.

COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is... ALIEN!

Alien.....................13
Emmett Gulley........8
Janithor..................7
none of the above ..0

Congratulations, anonymous otterfilthing coward!  Yer finally gettin'
the attention you crave, hey?  You managed to knock off The Pissbum
Powerhouse!

LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
Emmett Gulley............................................15
Dave "The Doctor"/"The Idiot" Yadallee.......4
Greg "Greegor Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...3
Raymond Karczweski..................................1
Richard Scovile............................................0
none of the above.........................................0

GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winners are... Ras Michael Enoch  (aka Michael McCarty)!
Yes..13
No.....2

...and fasgnadh!

Yes...14
No......4

Congratulations!

JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
The winner is... EMMETT "SHITTY PANTIES" GULLEY!
Emmett "Crappantz"Gulley.............16
MMFC (Mark Morgan Fan Club)...6
% Squiggle teh AssWorm................1
none of the above............................1

Congratulations, Emmett! Just how pathetic does one have to
be to be twice as pathetic as the pathetic AssWorm and the pathetic
MMFC?
(Thanks to PJR for the above bit)

PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is... EMMETT "PISSBUM POWERHOUSE" GULLEY!
Yes...24
No......0

Congratulations Emmett on a Palmjob well done.  The vote was
unanimous!

TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
The winners are...EMMETT GULLEY AND GREG "NEAL WARREN" HALL!
Yes..22
No.....1

Great teamwork, Florida kooks!  Is there something in the water in
Florida?  Could it be the fecal matter drifting away from Nellie's
"yacht"?

VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
Emmett Gulley......16
fasgnadh.................5
none of the above...2

Congratulations, Gulley!  Another smashing VICTOLLY for you, but I
really think you ought to get back with your friends at NOAA and the
NWS and have them explain humidity to you again.

GEORGE PICKET MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
Yes...21
No......1

You go, Emmett!  Perhaps you can recruit Bobbi Sanchez and her bayonet
to help you to finally defeat your enemies.

GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
The winner is...FASGNADH!
Yes..17
No.....2

Congratulations, FuzzNuts!  You've got those filthy atheists on the
run!  Not.

BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is...wait for it...EMMETT GULLEY!

Yes...23
No......0

Emmy, you have stunk up AUK so completely that Nellie's shit bucket
smells sweet by comparison.

UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...MEOWMIX! <braying of horns from The Velvet Knights>

meowmix..............12
none of the above...7
fasgnadh.................6

Ok, rocky, you won an award.  Now please to stop whinging about never
winning an award.

GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!

Emmett Gulley..........18
none of the above.......3
Ras Michael Enoch ....2

Another SMACKDOWN! for the Pissbum Powerhouse!

72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ALT.ATHEISM!

alt.atheism................12
Ras Michael Enoch....6
WeeSaul....................3
none of the above.......2
Mangler.....................1

Congratulations, godless heatherns!  Another award for your trophy
case!

BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!

Emmett "Pissbum Powerhouse" Gulley........19
Greg "Greegor Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...6
none of the above.........................................0

Rock Hard Stupid didn't stand a chance in this matchup.  Gulley makes
Bullis look like a genius.

BALSA GAVEL
The winner (?) is...ATLAS BUGGED!
Yes..25
No....0

BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY, trained by Albatross!

Emmett Gulley, trained by
Albatross...............................................................................14
Greg Hall,trained by Checkmate...............................................4
Kachina, trained by Checkmate, Johnny Dollar, and Fred Hall...4
none of the above.....................................................................1

Congrats, Alby!  After a decade of training, emmy now performs on cue.
If only he could be trained to stop shitting on himself.

DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!

Yes...18
no.......4

Always keep in mind, emmy, that if you don't  remember the past you
will be condemned to repeat it.  Sorta like "Groundhog Day."

RICHARD M NIXON "PATHOLOGICAL LIAR" AWARD
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!

Yes..26
No....0

How do we (tinw) know when emmy's lying?  When his stubby fingers are
pecking out pathetic posts.

EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
By Cabal Executive Order (tinceo) the Emmett Gulley Obsesso award is
hereby presented to Alien.  500 line Meat Plow and Gary Burnore sigs
are a sure sign that Alien the Anonymous Coward just ain't right in
the head.

GLOBAL VILLAGE PUMP
The winner is...FASGNADH!
fasgnadh...............16
Matthew Moulton...4

Good job, FuzzNutz!  There aren't many kooks who could dethrone teh
Diaperboi.

AUK MASCOT
The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!

Emmett Gulley...15
Bobbi Sanchez....7

What a performance, ShittyPanties!  Award after award after award!  No
wonder you were kept locked in the Galactic Killfile!

OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
No challengers, the incumbent Greg "Neal Warren" Hall will continue to
serve in this position.

OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is...GREG "NEAL WARREN" HALL!
Greg "Neal Warren" Hall................13
Greg "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...10

Close vote, Nellie!  You may not hold this position much longer.

OFFICE OF KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner and still champ is...AGAMEMNON of rec.arts.drwho!

Agamemnon...................................14
dsharavi <dsharavii@hotmail.com>...2

Sorry, Deb, but I suspect Aggie will hang on to this office until
Usenet goes the way of the dinosaurs.

MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winners are...THE 4 STOOGES, GULLEY, HALL, %, and JANITHOR!

Emmett Gulley, Greg Hall, % AssWorm, and Janithor...21
Emmett Gulley, Alexander 'Dink' Cain and Albatross......1
The Creationist Vigilance Committee (incumbent)...........0

Congratulations, Stooges!  I'd ask teh Janitor to clean up the dried
feces in Emmett's Galactic Killfile suite, but it appears he's walked
off the job to take a position as head of Goathead Janitorial, Inc.

PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...FRED HALL for his "I got NETKKKOPPED at Altopia!"
troll.

Yes..24
No....1

HAMMER OF THOR

Checkmate
Yes...13
No....10

Albatross
Yes...14
No.....6

After discussions with FNVWE's, Fluffy, and the Cabal, it has been
decided to enforce the rule that the ratio of yes to no votes for this
award should be 3:1.  Therefore, there are no winners of the Hammer of
Thor for this ballot.

On a more uplifting note, the following ambassadors have been accepted
from the Empire of Meow:

Knoxy, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary from
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.

Neon Kachina, with bells, motley,and an honorary tinfoil tiara.
Romathian ambassador.

This concludes the results of the January 2012 ballot. Thirty-three
ballot papers
were received, of which twenty-nine were deemed valid.  One ballot was
submitted by someone who apparently got lost on their way to
talk.bizarre.  I have no idea what they thought they were voting for.

The Velvet Knights will serenade us as we file out of the Cabal
Obsidian Order Congregational Hall (tinCOOCH).  I'd like to thank
Fluffy, Bob, The Cabal, and you, dear voters, for making this awards
ceremony a success.



Wednesday, February 8, 2012

New Site For AUK Stuff

Still under construction, but fnvw.databasix.com is operational.  Currently, the AUK awards descriptions can be found there.  As time permits, I'll add the AUK FAQ, ballots, and other AUK related schtuff.

Voting for the January 2012 awards ends in a few hours, with results posted 9 February 2012.

Friday, February 3, 2012

CNBC Breaking News

This just in from our correspondent Bit Rot:

"Affirmative action toddlers took justice into their own hands earlier
today and pounded Pantload Pissbum Emmett Gulley but good outside the
Daily Dead foodbank. "

AUK Post Count for January 2012

According to Giggle Gropes, alt.usenet.kooks ended January with a post count of 10,367, the most posts in AUK in January since 2008, and the most posts in any month since May 2009.

The voting continues for the January 2012 awards, with Emmett Gulley leading in most categories, as expected, due to the diligent efforts of his manager Rusty 'Grand Wizard' Tavek.  However, there is increasing evidence that Gulley, unable to take the heat, is retreating to Facebook, where the ' Fat Bitches' are kicking his ass.  Take note of:

The Truth About Emmett Gulley maintained by Gulley
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Truth-about-Emmett-Gulley/333894663317654?sk=wall

and a new page to rebut Gulley:

The Truth About Emmett Earl Gulley Jr maintained by the 'fat bitches'
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Truth-about-Emmett-Earl-Gulley-Jr/103743423084813

The saga continues...

Thursday, February 2, 2012

February 2012 Nominations

KooK of the Month                                                                            

Alien.  Nominated by NotYourFathersChevy. Second: Pandora

Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: Charlotte L. Blackmer

Clueless Newbie of the Month


Greg "Neal Warren" Hall.  Nominated by Steve Crook.  Seconded by Cujo DeSockpuppet
(Nellie the ipv6 virgin)

David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by PV.  Second: idlehands & snarky

Coward of the Month



fasgnadh "James Murdoch" . Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: raven1

Looney Maroon Award

 
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.  Nominated by Bit Rot. Second: Johnny Dollar
Pat Buchanan.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: Pandora (Usenet Goddess)




Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award



Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second: Col. Jake
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.  Nominated by Bit Rot. Second: Johnny Dollar
Rusty "Grand Wizard" Tavek.  Nominated by Peter J. Ross. Second: A.C.


Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker



Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee, Ignis Fatuus, Respondant.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: PV & PJR


Palmjob Paddle



Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by Dr. Barry Mazur. Second:  Bookman
fasgnadh.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second: BaronLurk
Alien.  Nominated by Johnny Dollar.  Second: Cujo

Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award



Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by David Ritz.  Second: Chris Haskett
Ignis Fatuus "Igneous Rockius" Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: Fred Hall

Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award


Daniel San.  Nominated by China Bleu. Second:
Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second:  Checkmate

George Pickett Memorial Trophy


Archimedes Plutonium. Nominated by David Ritz. Second: I Bought DataBasix

George Armstrong Custer "Kicked @$$" Award


Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by Dr. Barry Mazur.  Second:  Bookman


Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart



Archimedes Plutonium. Nomination David Ritz.  Second: Chris Haskett
Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second:  PV & Checkmate

Kluck Lysaght "Tar & Feathers" Award



Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by David Ritz.  Second: I Bought DataBasix.

Busted Urinal Award



Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: Neon Shiny Kachina
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.  Nominated by Bit Rot. Second: Sweetness
Archimedes Plutonium. Nominated by David Ritz. Second: I Bought DataBasix.

Unabomber Surprise


ONE  <NESSIE@NU.RU>.  Nominated by Peter J.Ross. Second: bit rot
fasgnadh.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Second: This Account Has Been Banned


72 Raisins "Crackpot Religion" Award                                                            


Obves of alt.religion.jehovahs-witn.  Nominated by Charlotte L. Blackmer.  Second: A.C.
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: PV

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck

 
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.  Nominated by Bit Rot. Second: Sweetness
Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: PV
Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by David Ritz.  Second: Chris Haskett and AC



Order of the Holey Sockpuppet



Ras Mikaere Enoch McCarty.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Baron Lurk

Balsa Gavel




Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second David Ritz and AC


Office of Darth Bawl



Gregory Hall (incumbent)
Archimedes Plutonium.  Nominated by Dr. John Horton Conway.  Second: China Blue


Office of Village Idiot                                                                                            


Gregory Hall (incumbent)
Dave "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery. Second: Bookman

Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker                                              


Peter J. Ross & Fred Hall.  Nominated by The Demon of Mockery.  Seconded by This account has been
 banned because it violated the Google Groups Terms Of Use      

Fred Hall for trolling Rusty Tavek.  Nominated by Peter J. Ross.  Second:  I Bought DataBasix


Hammer of Thor



Checkmate. Nominated by shiny kachina. Second: The Demon of Mockery

XTRA SPESHUL CATEGORY!!!

Snarky, Stephen Wilson, A Loaf of Bread, Snowman, Robert Weldon, William Grosvenor, His Divine Shadow, Mr. SmartyPants, Pandora (Usenet Goddess), and PV, as a group, for all AUK awards.  Nominated by Peter J. Ross.  Second:  Fred Hall