Monday, April 30, 2012

Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, April 2012


Here follows the one true ballot for the April 2012 Usenet Kook awards. 
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt, 
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote Wrangler's 
discretion if: 

  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you are a resident of the Galactic Killfile
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have until
00:01 GMT on May 8th to cast your votes. Vote wisely; next time the
candidate might be *you*. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
BOBO AWARD (Vote Yes or No.)
  William Melchert-Dinkel

KOOK OF THE MONTH (Vote for one.) 
  Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" Enoch aka Operation Wetback 
  Emmett Gulley Sock emmettgulley81@gmail.com
  fasgnadh 
  none of the above 

COWARD OF THE MONTH (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson
  
LOONEY MAROON AWARD (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Bucky Breeder
  
JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" Enoch aka Operation Wetback 
  
BUSTED URINAL AWARD (Vote Yes or No.)
  Lady 'Bobbi Sanchez' Veteran

GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Kent Wills

GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson  

UNABOMBER SURPRISE (Vote Yes or No.) 
  Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" Enoch aka Operation Wetback  

BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK (Vote Yes or No.)
  Respondant aka "Bill"

BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE
  Kent Wills, trained by Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson

PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER (Vote Yes or No.) 
  FNVW April Fool's Day troll
 
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL (Vote for one.) 
  Respondant aka Bill
  Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall (incumbent) 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

28 April: This Day In AUK History

28 April 2005

Kevin Cannon nominated Daryl Hunt for Clueless Newbie of the Month.  The nomination was seconded by Ross.  In the balloting Hunt came in a distant third, barely beating "none of the above."  Vito Kuhn was the  winner, with 28 votes, the Pedos of alt.fan.aavfff received 22 votes, Hunt 4 votes, and "none of the above" received 2 votes.  Daryl Hunt later won Kook of the Month for August 2006.

And now, a blast from the past:

"So your familiar with the area then huh? 
Live around here? 
Come see me this week honey. 
Like to share a few thoughts with you in person. 
While holding a shotgun loaded with double oh buck." Richard Bullis invites Sharon B for a friendly chat. April 1999 <7g2l2g$nda$1@birch.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

Friday, April 27, 2012

27 April: This Day In Auk History

27 April 1997

Dave nominated Scott Nudds of comp.lang.* for Kook of the Month.  The second was provided by Stephan Wilms.  According to FNVW Matt Legare, Nudds was "...waging a one-man struggle against the forces of evil ...programmers who like the "C" programming language."  When the dust had settled and the votes had been counted, Scott ended up in third place, receiving three votes.  The winner of KotM for May 1997 was Bruce Daniel Kettler, who received 32 votes.  William Grosvenor was second in the balloting with 9 votes, Nudds with 3 votes, William Mullin with 1 vote, and "touri" (Louis Turi) brought up the rear with 0 (zero) votes.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

26 April: This Day In AUK History

26 April 1999

Taylor Netscum nominated December 1997 Kook of the Month Tim 'Skidmark' Brown for the Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker.  The nomination was seconded by Ross Driedger.  Brown was nominated for his troll of fellow kook Tim "Three Fucking Weeks" Thorne.  Skidmark won the award, receiving 18 votes to Antaine's 6 votes.

Tim 'Skidmark' Brown is not the only kook to win the Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker.  Bert Hoff (KotM September 1999) won the Salinger in November 1999, Brad Jesness (KotM July 1997) in November 2002, and Ed Wollman (KotM January 1998) in September 2003.



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

25 April: This Day In AUK History

25 April 1994

Craig Dickson made the first official nomination for Kook of the Month.  Craig, who would become AUK's first Vote Wrangler, nominated Mark 'Mensabot' Line.  Mensabot was a regular poster in rec.org.mensa who was engaged in a (f)lame war with the posters in alt.religion.kibology.  Mr. Line, who was not a member of Mensa, was upset with the Kibologist's habit of crossposting to rec.org.mensa.

Dickson described Line as a "rabid poodle" whose posts were "consistently brain-damaged, vitriolic, and crude."  Mensabot's favorite word was dipshit, a word he used in nearly every post.  Dickson also described Line as "a hybrid of the worst characteristics of Robert McElwaine and Daniel J. Karnes...utterly deranged and malevolent."

Mark Line's crimes included mailbombing, netKKKoping, writing letters to the employers of posters he disagreed with, and making real-life threats.  According to Dickson, this was similar to the online behavior of L. Detweiler and Valeri Fabrikant.  Mensabot went on to become AUK's first Kook of the Month, April 1994.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

24 April: This Day In AUK History

24 April 2003

a (yes, that's the poster's nym) nominated James Harris for the Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award.  The nomination was seconded by Wayne Brown.  Harris was nominated for his Short Proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, which, he believed, was going to make him "...famous, get cash, and hang out on the beach..."  The only thing standing in Harris's way was the fact that no mathematicians supported his Short Proof.  Harris maintained that other mathematicians had formed a conspiracy to suppress his discovery.

James Harris went on to win the Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award for April 2003.  It is interesting to note that Wayne Brown, who seconded Harris's nomination, would go on to win his own award three years later.  Brown was the April 2006 winner of the Busted Urinal Award.




500 Dollars Worth Of Money

A blast from the past.  In 2005 Net Legend and Kook of the Month winner Chuck Lysaght began a jihad against Kevin Cannon, a jihad known as The Tour de Mort '05.  Chuck began calling Mr. Cannon's place of business, leaving threatening messages on the company's answering machine.  Some of those messages survive. I am pleased to present one of those messages for your listening enjoyment: 500 Dollars Worth Of Money.


Monday, April 23, 2012

23 April: This Day In AUK History

April 23, 1997

Major Margaret Houlihan BsD nominated Bruce Daniel Kettler for Kook of the Month. Jon 'Big Dave' Walsh seconded the nomination.  Walsh describes Kettler as being like Earl Curley "...except a lot dumber, and not as mean.  He is convinced that an evil cult is after him, and that this cult is composed of computer generated enemies."  FNVW Matt Legare accepted the nomination, and Kettler appeared on the May 1997 ballot.  Kettler won in a landslide, receiving 32 votes to William Grosvenor's 9 votes.  Other KotM candidates on the ballot were Scott Nudds (3 votes), William Mullin (1 vote), and "touri" who received no votes.  Another AUK mystery.  Could "touri" have been the legendary Dr. Turi?

UPDATE: Reliable sources (Baron Lurk) confirm that "touri" was indeed Dr. Louis Turi.  AUK mystery solved.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The PF Chang's Debacle

In place of my usual This Day In AUK History post, I'm going to post what should have been the April 19th This Day In AUK History post.

Occasionally in alt.usenet.kooks someone will reference PF Chang's and crab wontons.  For those who don't get the reference, Cujo DeSockpuppet has kindly consented to tell the tale of The PF Chang's Debacle and the story behind the creation of the Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award.

The PF Chang's debacle.
by Cujo DeSockpuppet


This occurred on April 19th, 2000 when Anonym, who had flamed Edmo to an extra-crispy kook for a few years, was in San Diego to partake in the famed diving areas in La Jolla. As it turned out he was staying at a hotel on La Jolla Village Drive which was next to the PF Chang's. He invited Cujo to lunch on the 19th via a Usenet post in alt.astrology. That this also happened to be around the corner from the Hovel of the Pantyhead was a happy coincidence. 


Edmo decided to invite himself to lunch. He threatened to bring a police escort as he claimed he had a warrant already sworn out for Anonym as well. Of course, our favorite Pantyhead never showed. He later invited Anonym (and Cujo) to his apartment so he could perform a citizens arrest and drag Anonym to jail "by force, if necessary". This led to many further replies, the best of which was that if Ed laid a hand on Anonym, he'd decorate his walls with red stucco. A later check of Edmo's posts at the time indicated that Pantyhead was in fact many miles away hiding at SDSU. A check with the SD police department revealed that no warrants existed except in the imagination of Edmo. 


Among the food consumed at the lunch were PF Chang's Crab Wontons, which became a source of a few punchlines at Edmo's expense. Also notable was the later kooky claim by Pantyhead that PF Chang's had gone out of business already. This was typical of Edmo's denial of reality. In fact, the Chang's on La Jolla Village Drive had opened in 1997 and is still open. It does a thriving business as it's near many office complexes in the University Towne Center section of San Diego. It's striking architecture is also hard to mistake for any other restaurant. 


This also brought out Tony "Sherilyn" Sidaway, a noted and infamous troll, for a 20 month frothing over his claims of stalking based on what turned out to be a rather personal definition. Tony went completely overboard over the next 20 months and at one point defined the lunch that Edmo invited himself as stalking by Anonym. This brought much ridicule when it was shown that a lovely poster known as Jfred had visited London with her husband and Tony had invited them to have lunch with them. Tony was trolled for many months over this definition and promptly disappeared from much of Usenet at that point. He later went to troll over at Wikipedia where his hysterics were dealt with very sternly and with much ridicule at Tony's expense. Thus when the AUK Drama Queen award was later created, Tony's name was deservedly attached to it as a role model for future kooks to emulate.


http://www.pfchangs.com/Locations/LocationDetail.aspx?sid=1300&checked=1


http://www.edmondwollmann.com/
http://www.facebook.com/edmond.wollmann

Saturday, April 21, 2012

April 21: This Day In AUK History

April 21, 2000

J Calhoun nominated Nancy Luft, an alt.conspiracy poster and WebTV user, for Kook of the Month.  Ms Luft believed, and still may believe, that the Russians were coming to nuke the USA.

 "The Special Sputniks Forces of the Russian Military are sending me ESP, thoughts, via their sputnik lasers to say, "WE WILL SOON NUKE THE USA IN AN UTTERLY ONE SIDED NUCLEAR WAR!" 


"After having Rockefellers' RIGHT WING Rich Man's Mafia after me for all of my 57 years of life, I can not anger with the fact that the USA is far too corrupt to rule itself, because that is the TRUTH!"


This was by no means Nancy Luft's first shot at AUK glory.  In January 2000, Wotan nominated her for KotM. The nomination was seconded by Jason Crowell, who also nominated Nancy for the Looney Maroon Award in January. Oddly enough, Nancy did not appear on the ballot for the January or April 2000 kook awards.  Due to the borked nature of the GG archive and Phoenix (FNVW at the time) using XNA, I was unable to find a reason for her exclusion from the ballot.  Perhaps Cujo knows.  He has a memory like an elephant.

Nancy Luft is still posting her rants to talk.politics.guns and alt conspiracy.  To date she has never won an alt.usenet.kooks award.  One of her websites:

Friday, April 20, 2012

This Day In Auk History

April 20, 2004

Charlotte L. Blackmer nominated Alan Connor for Clueless Newbie of the Month, April 2004.  Alan Connor claimed Seth Breidbart (of Breidbart Index fame) knew nothing about spam.  Usenet spam, that is, not the pseudo-food.

The nomination was seconded by Sam, a regular in news.admin.net-abuse.email.  Both Charlotte and Sam are still active Usenet participants.  Alan Connor did not win Clueless Newbie of the Month, due to being  pitted against legendary and award-winning pizzaboy Russell B. Waters.  In the balloting, Waters received 15 votes, Connor 10 votes. none of the above 6 votes.  Alan Connor finally managed to win this prestigious award four years later, in March 2008.

Also on this date in 2004, Aratzio nominated Uni (affectionately known as UniTard) for Order of the Holey Sockpuppet.  Cujo DeSockpuppet seconded.  Aratzio and Cujo are still active in AUK.  Uni ended up sharing the award with another legendary and award-winning kook, Chuck Lysaght.  Both received 18 yes votes.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

AUK Post Count, March 2012

It looks like Google Groups has finished revising the alt.usenet.kooks post count for March, 2012.  The official number is 11,318, the most March posts since 2008, and the fifth highest AUK post count in history.  The February 2012 post count was the 6th highest in AUK history.  Now, who was it saying AUK was dead, a smoldering crater?  Bwahaha etc.

According to GG, the post count for AUK so far this month is already the 12th highest in history.  The number to beat for best April ever is 27,130, set in April 2007, followed by 25,372, set in April 2006.  Those numbers will more than likely never be surpassed, unless squiggle teh AssWurm steps up his game.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

April 2012 Nominations




Kook of the Month


MMFC.  Nominated by Gregory Hall.  REJECTED, violation of the ancient rule that a candidate may not be nominated in consecutive months.  My apologies to all.

Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" Enoch aka Operation Wetback.  Nominated by Account Banned. Second: Bit Rot

Emmett Gulley Frog (emmettgulley81@gmail.com).  Nominated by PV. Second: Sharky

fasgnadh.  Nominated by Charlotte L. Blackmer. Second: Cujo DeSockpuppet

Coward of the Month


Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson.  Nominated by: Account Banned. Second: Bit Rot


Looney Maroon Award


Bucky Breeder. Nominated by Account Banned. Second: Checkmate


Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award


Ras Mikaere "eunuch" Enoch aka Operation Wetback.  Nominated by Account Banned. Second: Baron Lurk


George Pickett Memorial Trophy


Kent Wills. Nominated by FNVW. Second: Account Banned.

George Armstrong Custer "Kicked @$$" Award


Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson. Nominated by Account Banned. Second: Checkmate


Bobo Award


William Melchert-Dinkel.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Cujo DeSockpuppet

Busted Urinal Award


Lady 'Bobbi Sanchez' Veteran.  Nominated by Charlotte L Blackmer.  Seconded by: Cujo DeSockpuppet.


Unabomber Surprise


Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" McCarty aka Operation Wetback. Nominated by Col Jake. Second: Account Banned

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck


Respondant aka Bill.  Nominated by Charlotte L Blackmer. Second: Account Banned.


Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award


Kent Wills, trained by Greegor.  Nominated by: FNVW. Second: Johnny Dollar

Office of Darth Bawl 


Respondant aka Bill.  Nominated by Charlotte L Blackmer.  Second: Cujo DeSockpuppet.
Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall (incumbent)


Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker


FNVW April Fool's Day troll.  Nominated by I Bought DataBasix.  Second: Baron Lurk

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, March 2012

The time has come once again to announce the winners of the monthly alt.usenet.kooks Kook Awards.  To provide the background music for the ceremony we have, once again, Colonel Jake and The Velvet Knights!  Jake, if you'll get those bagpipes wailing and the knives a'grinding, I'll announce the winners of the March 2012 Usenet Kook Awards!

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

13 votes...Greegor
05 votes...Mark Morgan Coprophilic Fan Club

Congratulations, RHS!  Bob Alberti and his socks (Gary, Fred, Albatross, Snarky, Checkmate, et al) are laughing their asses off at your inept attempts to out them.


COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...RAS MIKAERE 'Eunuch' ENOCH!

13 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations, RastaEunuch!  You ran away after being nominated for this award, but hey, that's what cowards do.

LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winners are...THE CASEY ANTHONY FACEBOOK DEFENDERS!

09 votes...Casey Anthony Facebook Defenders
07 votes...Tom Potter
02 votes...neither of the above

Congratulations, Casey Slurpers!  Jason, if you like, you can forward those checks Casey's lawyer returned to you to Cabal HQ.  We will put that money to good use restocking the COO beer fridge.

GOLDEN KILLFILE

The winner is...ALIEN THE ANONYMOUS COWARD!

18 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations, hey!  Yer a tedious bore, kook.  I see a Woodhouse in yer future, hey, Alien trained by bit rot, hey.

BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

15 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations again, Rock Hard Stupid!  Allisat himself is in awe of your ability to bite every hook dangled in front of you, baited or not.

PALMJOB PADDLE

The winner is...DAVE 'YADS' YADALLEE!

17 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Yads!  All those years toiling unnoticed and unappreciated in rec.arts.drwho have begun to pay off for you in 2012.

TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD

The winner is...IGNIS 'IGNEOUS ROCKIUS' FATUUS!

15 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, Igneous! Please prepare your flouncy acceptance speech.  Looking forward to it.

GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Congratulations, RHS!  Here's a hint:  Kent won a long time ago.  hth

BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...GREGGIE AKA 1SRLTS

12 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, Greggie!  Even Emmett hurls when you pass by.

UNABOMBER SURPRISE

The winner is...MARK 'POLISH KNIGHT' SOBOLEWSKI!

08 votes...Mark Sobolewski
07 votes...Ignis Fatuus
03 votes...neither of the above

Congratulations, Mark!  You've still got what it takes, after all these years.

72 RAISINS CRACKPOT RELIGION AWARD

The winner is...BOB LARSON POSTING AS KENSMITHISCOOL

14 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations BoB!  It's unanimous!  Now how about giving us all a full scholarship to your International School of Exorcism?

BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD

The winner is...A TIE!

07 votes...Alien, trained by Gary Burnore
07 votes...Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall, trained by Steve Crook
02 votes...Greegor, trained by Kent Wills
02 votes...none of the above

Congratulations Gary and Steve!

EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD

The Cabal (tinc), in its infinite wisdom, has decided to award this rarely awarded award to Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson.  Even Emmett has not demonstrated the level of obsession Greegor demonstrates on a daily basis.

OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL

The winner is...Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall!  Again!

13 votes...Greg Hall
06 votes...Ignis Fatuus

JESUS!  (the lawn maintenance guy).  Unless Nellie kicks teh shitbucket, he's going to hold this office forever. The voting was not even close.

Until next month, HAEL BOB, Fluffy, and Ming.  As above, so below!

Colonel Jake, get us on outta heah!

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VK1995/



Friday, April 6, 2012

Yads!

Alt.usenet.kooks was newgrouped on 20 December 1993.  Among the first net.kooks to be discussed was Dave 'Yads' Yadallee.  Yes, the same Yads who won Clueless Newbie of the Month for June 2008, and the same Yads who has appeared on the first three ballots of 2012.  On 22 December 1993 (AUK was only two days old), this post appeared in alt.usenet.kooks:


From: mwalter@muskwa.ucs.ualberta.ca (Mecha Mike)
Subject: Yadallee!
Message-ID: <mwalter.756570680@muskwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 1993 14:31:20 GMT
One simply can't have a Usenet kooks list without including that bane of rec.arts.drwho, Dave Sharif Yadallee. Here is a guy who a) tries to link Dr. Who and British politics together, b) is convinced that Thatcher's government had it in for the show, c) complains bitterly that some former stars of the show were being taken advantage of when they posed nude for some mag a number of years back, and d) is an incoherent son-of-a-sod. The hate that rails up every time this guys posts is a sight to behold. And, 
 O, joy of joys, I live in the same city as this clown! 
Yads, we here in AUK are extremely proud that you are finally getting the recognition you deserve.  I'm also sure your fellow posters in rec.arts.drwho and edm.general agree.

Who Will Win...

The coveted Edmond Wollman Memorial Rubber Turkey this Easter Weekend?

http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/p/auk-awards-descriptions.html

Edmond Wollmann Memorial Rubber Turkey

Named in honour of the greatest of all Christmas Day kook-outs, this award honours those who would rather spend public holidays frothing continously on Usenet than risk contact with human beings in real life.  

Past Easter winners include Chuck Lysaght, Dr. Andrew Chung and Duke the American-American.  Vegas odds-makers favor Greg Hall and his Sock-o-Rama Circus.  Greg is foaming mightily on this Good Friday.  However, Edmond Wollman has consulted his charts and is predicting  a surprise win by Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid.

Dr. Turi is expected to make his prediction, from the grave, on Monday.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

VOTE! Usenet Kook Awards, March 2012


Here follows the one true ballot for the March 2012 Usenet Kook
awards. Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked,
burnt, shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote
Wrangler's discretion if: 
  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have
until 23:59 GMT on April 9th to cast your votes. Vote wisely;
next time the candidate might be *you*. 



Kook of the Month

(vote for one)
Greg "Rock Hard Stupid Greegor" Hanson.
Mark Morgan Coprophilic Fan Club.
neither of the above

Coward of the Month

(vote yes or no)
Ras Mikaere "Eunuch" Enoch

Looney Maroon Award

(vote for one)
Defending The Honor Of Casey Anthony Facebook Posters
Tom Potter of alt.astronomy
neither of the above

Golden Killfile

(vote yes or no)
Alien the Anonymous Coward.

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(vote yes or no)
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.

Palmjob Paddle

(vote yes or no)
David "Yads" "The Doctor" Yadallee.

Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award

(vote yes or no)
Ignis "Igneous Rockius" Fatuus.

George Pickett Memorial Trophy

(vote yes or no)
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson.

Busted Urinal Award

(vote yes or no)
Greggie, aka lsrlts.

Unabomber Surprise

(vote for one)
Ignis "Igneous Rockius" Fatuus.
Mark "Polish Knight" Sobolewski.
neither of the above

72 Raisins "Crackpot Religion" Award

(vote yes or no)
Bob Larson, posting as kensmithiscool.

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award

(vote for one)
Alien, trained by Gary L. Burnore.
Greegor "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson, trained by Kent Wills.
Greg "Neal Warren" Hall, trained by Steve Crook
none of the above

Office of Darth Bawl

(vote for one)
Ignis "Igneous Rockius" Fatuus.
Greg Hall (incumbent)

A Full Pardon For Greg Hall

I propose that Greg Neal Warren Hall be pardoned for all crimes, real or imagined, committed against the Cabal (tinc), Fluffy and the ladies of alt.usenet.kooks.  There are three (3) conditions attached to this pardon:

1. Greg Neal Warren Hall must admit that he sent the anonymous post that triggered the Novins lawsuit.
2. Greg Neal Warren Hall abandon his practice of forging and frogging other Usenet posters.
3. Greg Neal Warren Hall must issue a sincere apology to the ladies of alt.usenet.kooks, asking their forgiveness for his rude and misogynistic posts.

The above admission, repudiation, and apology must be posted to alt.usenet.kooks no later than 23:59 Sunday, April 1, 2012 for the pardon to take effect.  If Greg Neal Warren Hall accepts these conditions, his name will be removed from the list of award winners.  In addition, Greg Neal Warren Hall will be declared ineligible for further alt.usenet.kooks awards.

Discuss.