Tuesday, April 10, 2012

WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, March 2012

The time has come once again to announce the winners of the monthly alt.usenet.kooks Kook Awards.  To provide the background music for the ceremony we have, once again, Colonel Jake and The Velvet Knights!  Jake, if you'll get those bagpipes wailing and the knives a'grinding, I'll announce the winners of the March 2012 Usenet Kook Awards!

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

13 votes...Greegor
05 votes...Mark Morgan Coprophilic Fan Club

Congratulations, RHS!  Bob Alberti and his socks (Gary, Fred, Albatross, Snarky, Checkmate, et al) are laughing their asses off at your inept attempts to out them.


COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...RAS MIKAERE 'Eunuch' ENOCH!

13 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations, RastaEunuch!  You ran away after being nominated for this award, but hey, that's what cowards do.

LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winners are...THE CASEY ANTHONY FACEBOOK DEFENDERS!

09 votes...Casey Anthony Facebook Defenders
07 votes...Tom Potter
02 votes...neither of the above

Congratulations, Casey Slurpers!  Jason, if you like, you can forward those checks Casey's lawyer returned to you to Cabal HQ.  We will put that money to good use restocking the COO beer fridge.

GOLDEN KILLFILE

The winner is...ALIEN THE ANONYMOUS COWARD!

18 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations, hey!  Yer a tedious bore, kook.  I see a Woodhouse in yer future, hey, Alien trained by bit rot, hey.

BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

15 votes...yes
01 vote.....no

Congratulations again, Rock Hard Stupid!  Allisat himself is in awe of your ability to bite every hook dangled in front of you, baited or not.

PALMJOB PADDLE

The winner is...DAVE 'YADS' YADALLEE!

17 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Yads!  All those years toiling unnoticed and unappreciated in rec.arts.drwho have begun to pay off for you in 2012.

TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD

The winner is...IGNIS 'IGNEOUS ROCKIUS' FATUUS!

15 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, Igneous! Please prepare your flouncy acceptance speech.  Looking forward to it.

GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...GREG 'GREEGOR ROCK HARD STUPID' HANSON!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Congratulations, RHS!  Here's a hint:  Kent won a long time ago.  hth

BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...GREGGIE AKA 1SRLTS

12 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, Greggie!  Even Emmett hurls when you pass by.

UNABOMBER SURPRISE

The winner is...MARK 'POLISH KNIGHT' SOBOLEWSKI!

08 votes...Mark Sobolewski
07 votes...Ignis Fatuus
03 votes...neither of the above

Congratulations, Mark!  You've still got what it takes, after all these years.

72 RAISINS CRACKPOT RELIGION AWARD

The winner is...BOB LARSON POSTING AS KENSMITHISCOOL

14 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations BoB!  It's unanimous!  Now how about giving us all a full scholarship to your International School of Exorcism?

BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD

The winner is...A TIE!

07 votes...Alien, trained by Gary Burnore
07 votes...Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall, trained by Steve Crook
02 votes...Greegor, trained by Kent Wills
02 votes...none of the above

Congratulations Gary and Steve!

EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD

The Cabal (tinc), in its infinite wisdom, has decided to award this rarely awarded award to Greg 'Greegor Rock Hard Stupid' Hanson.  Even Emmett has not demonstrated the level of obsession Greegor demonstrates on a daily basis.

OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL

The winner is...Greg 'Neal Warren' Hall!  Again!

13 votes...Greg Hall
06 votes...Ignis Fatuus

JESUS!  (the lawn maintenance guy).  Unless Nellie kicks teh shitbucket, he's going to hold this office forever. The voting was not even close.

Until next month, HAEL BOB, Fluffy, and Ming.  As above, so below!

Colonel Jake, get us on outta heah!

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VK1995/



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