Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Winners! Usenet Kook Awards, April 2012

The time has come to announce the winners of the alt.usenet.kooks awards for April, 2012.

Col. Jake, if you'll have The Velvet Knights fire up the bagpipes, we will proceed.

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

BOBO AWARD

The winner is...WILLIAM MELCHERT-DINKEL!

11 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, ghoul!  Another support group trolling loser bites the dust.

KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...RAS MIKAERE "EUNUCH" ENOCH AKA OPERATION WETBACK!

7 votes...Eunuch
5 votes...fasgnadh
3 votes...Emmett Gulley Sock

Congratulations, Eunuch McCarty!  Your operation was successful!  You have finally been recognized after all these years.

COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...ROCK HARD STUPID!

13 votes...Yes
01 vote.... No

Congratulations, Greegor!

LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winner is...BUCKY BREEDER!

12 votes...Yes
02 votes...No

Congratulations, Bucky!  Be sure to display your LMA along with the other eight awards you've won.  You must be very proud!

JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD

The winner is...RAS EUNUCH MCCARTY AKA OPERATION WETBACK!

15 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, Eunuch!  Very few in the history of the awards have been as deserving as you.

BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...BOBBI SANCHEZ AKA LADY VETERAN!

12 votes...Yes
03 votes...No

Congratulations, Bobbi!  You may have toned it down in recent years, but your reputation lives on!

GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...KENT WILLS!

11 votes...Yes
03 votes...No

Congratulations, Kent!  You are the current poster boy for this award.  You have sacrificed common sense, decency and your reputation trying to win an un-winnable argument.

GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER KICKED @$$ AWARD

The winner is...ROCK HARD STUPID GREEGOR!

14 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, WaterBoarder!  It's unanimous!  Are you still WINNING?

UNABOMBER SURPRISE

The winner is...RAS MIKAERE EUNUCH AKA OPERATION WETBACK!

15 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, Eunuch!

BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK

The winner is...RESPONDANT AKA BILL!

12 votes...Yes
01 vote.....No

Congratulations, "Bill!"  Perhaps if you would post more often, you could add to your fine collection of awards.

BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD

The winner is...NO WINNER!

08 votes...Yes
05 votes...No

In keeping with long-standing award traditions, there is no winner in this category.  Categories with no competition, ie a yes or no vote (excepting the Hammer of Thor), are subject to the 2/3 rule.  Obviously, Kent Wills did not meet this standard.  The fault lies with Rock Hard Stupid Hanson, who wasn't smart enough to exploit Kent's admission that he had adopted Greegor's standards.

PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER

The winner is...FNVW APRIL FOOL'S DAY TROLL!

12 votes...Yes
01 vote.....No

Folks, this troll was pathetic in its obviousness.  April 1st, a pardon for notorious net.kook Nellie Hall, and yet Respondant and Nellie not only swallowed the bare hook, they threw themselves into the boat and gutted themselves.  Life is good.

OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL

The winner is...GREG 'NEAL WARREN' HALL!

09 votes...Nellie
06 votes...Respondant aka Bill

Congratulations, Nellie!  Finally, a close vote.  No worries, Kraptain Kneel, soon you will be voted out of office.  This is an Official Cabal Guarantee.

Col. Jake, if you would please strike up the band?

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

(I dig those bagpipes, Jake)



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