Friday, August 31, 2012

September 2012 Nominations

Kook of the Month                                                                                                    

Gordon Radavich aka Revd.  Nominated by Fred Hall.  Second: The Peeler
Bob Milby, Jr aka Patriot Games.  Nominated by Tom Swift, Jr.  Second: Johnny Dollar

Clueless Newbie of the Month

Beavis.  Nominated by Checkmate.  Second: Bit Rot

Coward of the Month

Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young.  Nominated by Sean Monaghan.  Second: Colonel Jake & JD

Bob & Carole.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Account Banned

Looney Maroon Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by Fred Hall.  Second: Checkmate

Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Fred Hall

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(Checkmate's ROT 1337 troll)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by Checkmate.  Second: Account Banned

Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Checkmate

Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Second:

George Pickett Memorial Trophy

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Busted Urinal Award

DP.  Nominated by:Fred Hall.  Second: Colonel Jake

Unabomber Surprise

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Douglas Grant Medal For Historical Revisiomism
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award

Tard] Fake Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler {One Of Four}, trained by shiny kachina.  Nominated by Checkmate.  Second: Account Banned

AUK Mascot

Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young.  Nominated by FNVW.  Second: Colonel Jake

Emmett Gulley (incumbent)

Ministry of Circle Jerks

UTB Sock Drawer.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Checkmate

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire and [Tard] Phoenix (incumbents)

AFA-B Tinfoil Star

Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young.  Nominated by Sean Monaghan.  Second: Colonel Jake & JD

Cleopatra Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Ed Conrad Memorial "Brain of Stone" Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Green Lantern Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Fred Hall Second: Account Banned, Checkmate

Sir Robin Award

[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  Nominated by:  Account Banned Second: Checkmate

Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, August 2012

In honour of the US Labour Day holiday, I am posting the ballot early.

Here follows the one true ballot for the August 2012 Usenet Kook awards. 
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt, 
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote Wrangler's 
discretion if: 

  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you are a resident of the Galactic Killfile
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have until
00:01 GMT on September 8th to cast your votes. Vote wisely; next time the
candidate might be *you*. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Jayne Kulikauskas "Chump of the Summer" Pin

(Vote for one)Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire and His Barmy Army.
The Socky Brigade. 
Albatross and Emmett Gulley.
Raymond "Dances with Sockpuppets" Karczewski. 
none of the above

Kook of the Month

(vote yes or no)
Karen Gordon aka Spambuster aka "Çons@minority#s"    

Coward of the Month

(vote for one) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire
Karen Gordon aka Spambuster aka "Çons@minority#s" 
neither of the above

Looney Maroon Award

(vote yes or no) 
Patrick Michael "Paddywhacko" Sullivan aka Dave TV 

Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award

(vote yes or no) 
Karen Gordon aka Spambuster aka "Çons@minority#s" .  

Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award

(vote yes or no)

Yehiel Porat. 

George Pickett Memorial Trophy

(vote yes or no) 
CastAlone aka Murphy aka Phlat Arse aka Flash®  

Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart                                                              

(vote yes or no)  
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.

Busted Urinal Award

(vote yes or no)  
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire. 

Goofy Azzed Babboon

(vote yes or no) 
Yehiel Porat.  

Order of the Holey Sockpuppet

(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire  

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award

(vote yes or no)

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbys
hire and His Barmy Army, trained by Account Banned and Johnny Dolla

Richard M Nixon Memorial "Pathological Liar" Award

(vote for one)  
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire
Operation Wetback aka Ras Eunuch McCarty
Steve Bonine.
none of the above

The Charlie Sheen Memorial "WINNING" Award *
(vote for one) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.

Operation Wetback aka Ras Eunuch McCarty
Emmett Gulley
Greg "Greegor" Hanson
MMFC ScatBoi
David "Yads" Yadallee
none of the above

* All candidates placed on ballot by Executive Decision.
* Going forward nominations will be accepted for this
*Lifetime Achievement award.  Think of it as a Super Pickett,
*but not quite a Custer.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

30 August: This Day In AUK History

30 August 1999

Rusty Martin nominated Douglas Grant for the Looney Maroon Award.  John Harkness provided the second.  Doogie would go on to win the Looney Maroon Award for September, 1999.  The nomination thread is here:

Doogie had already won Kook of the Month for December 1998, and would go on to win many other awards.  Doogie Grant was so fond of practicing historical revisionism that an award for revisionism was created in his (dis)honor, The Douglas Grant Medal For Historical Revisionism.  Doogie was, of course, the first winner of this award.  The complete list of awards won by Douglas Grant:

  • Kook of the Month December 1998
  • Looney Maroon Award September 1999
  • Looney Maroon Award April 2001
  • Unabomber Surprise February 2006
  • Busted Urinal Award May 2007
  • Douglas Grant Medal For Historical Revisionism December 2007
  • Kook of the Year 2008
  • Tony Sidaway Memorial Drama Queen Award April 2008
  • Balsa Gavel April 2008
  • Bolo Bullis Foam Duck May 2008
  • Golden Killfile December 2008

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

AUK Post Count, July 2012

Now that Giggle Gropes has finished juggling the numbers, it is time to crunch the numbers.

According to Google, 11680 articles were posted to alt.usenet.kooks during July 2012, the largest number of articles posted since December 2008, and the fifth most articles ever posted during July.

  1. July 2004 18979
  2. July 2005 17665
  3. July 2006 13549
  4. July 2008 12299
  5. July 2012 11680

August is shaping up as another good month, with 10389 articles so far.

Friday, August 17, 2012


The Charlie Sheen Memorial "WINNING" Award

Reserved for those kooks who, despite enduring multiple spanks,
insist upon declaring VICTOLLY! after each and every spank.
The special prize for this award is a 3" figurine adorned with a
tinfoil dunce cap, and a sign hanging around its neck reading,
"I am WINNING! For fuck's sake!"

As [T*rd] Penix is in the Galactic Killfile, I, as FNVW hereby
declare [T*rd] Penix the inaugural winner of this award, for fuck's

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Old Interface 2

Emmett BADASS Gulley  
View profile  
 More options Aug 16, 7:31 pm
On Thu, 16 Aug 2012 18:47:14 -0400, "  Sir Gregory Hall,  Esq."

GREG, it's YOU who is LYING here. I guess you didn't know that there
is absolutely NO OPTIONS ANYWHERE, and let me say that again, ANYWHERE
on google groups to allow you to use the old interface.
I slected a random group under the new interface, went to options and
there was no choices there to keep the old interface.
now fucking stop this shit because your acting like the staukers. I
know what the fuck i am doing on GG 

Old Interface

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My topics with recent activity
Maureen McAllister of Dardanelle Arkansas 
 Moe >  Um gaggie, you did catch what you said here right? Moe > You basically said that while the child was taking  a bath, you Moe > supposedly went in and used the toilet.Not hold it in until she was Moe > done, but went in and whether you were peeing or taking a crap, you Moe > exposed your genitals so she could see them " accidentally".... more »
By Greegor  - Aug 15 - 5 new of 304 messages -      alt.usenet.kooks

Why is Paul Derbyshire forbidden in edm.general? 
 ... Yesyes.. forced me.. forced! me I say. /laffs. ... Speaking of patterns, who the fuck moved Pembroke & Ottawa to the 'east coast' of Canada ?
By Sweetness  - Aug 13 - 28 new of 42 messages -

When I talk about an assworm... 
 ... 268> Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks, 24hoursupport.helpdesk, abuse.usenet,,sci.p hysics,comp.os.os2.advocacy 268> Been at the shrooms again, Paul? What does your question of kensi have to do with OS/2, Hall? 269> Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,,s ci.physics,comp.os.os2.advocac y, more »
By tholen@antispam.ham  - Aug 10 - 7 new of 7 messages -       comp.os.os2.advocacy

Email harassment: it's time to start punishing it 
 In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sun, 12 Aug 2012 06:01:31 -0700 (PDT), ... ... In that case, you'll have no difficulty in posting their headers. Proof of your assertion goes here: -- PJR :-) | οἵη περ φύλλων γενεὴ, τοίη δὲ καὶ ἀνδρῶν.... more »
By Peter J Ross  - Aug 13 - 55 new of 81 messages -       alt.arts.poetry.comments

Joseph Stalin is dead. Boo hoo. 
 On Fri, 27 Jul 2012 23:10:08 -0500, in the land of news.groups, Fred Hall <> got double secret probation for writing: ... That would not be a superpower. -- The Delimited Ratz
By Aratzio  - Jul 28 - 6 new of 20 messages -      news.groups

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