Saturday, August 11, 2012

Winners! Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012


Better late than never, and welcome to the alt.usenet.kooks Usenet Kook Awards for July 2012.  Colonel Jake has again kindly consented to provide the music for the processional.

Battle Without Honor, or Humanity March:
http://www.coloneljake.com/-CJdN-/0000/


KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Congratulations, Paul!  For fuck's sake, you won!

COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...NO WINNER!

09 votes...no for Albatross
08 votes...yes

No congratulations, Alby.  As you can see from the vote totals...

LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

For fuck's sake, Paul!  2 awards, you looney maroon!

JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

For fuck's sake, Paulie!  3 awards, you pathetic, kooky, looney maroon!  But wait!  There's more!

PALMJOB PADDLE

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

4 awards, Derbyshire!  For fuck's sake, you are still WINNING!
Bill Palmer ain't got nothin' on you.

BALSA GAVEL

The winner is...WILLIAM MELCHERT-DINKEL!

09 votes...yes
03 votes...no

No congratulations to this ghoul.  Excuse me, I need to take a shower.

GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...ALBATROSS!

09 votes...yes
07 votes...no

A sad day in AUK.  Alby, you've been around long enough to know better.

KLUCK LYSAGHT "TAR & FEATHERS" AWARD

The winner is...[TARD] PHOENIX THE ANONYPUSSY!

14 votes...[Tard]
05 votes...Albatross

Congratulations, [Tard]!  Are you still running things, otterfilthing net.scum?

BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...[TARD] PHOENIX THE ANONYPUSSY!

18 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Congratulations, [Tard]!  Yer still winning, hey?

GOOFY AZZED BABBOON

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

13 votes...yes
05 votes...no

5 awards?  For fuck's sake!

ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET

The winner is...ALEX "DINK" CAIN!

10 votes...yes
07 votes...no

Welcome back to the loser's circle, Dink!  You can add this award
to the rest of your collection:


  • Palmjob Paddle January 2001
  • Busted Urinal Award January 2001
  • Kluck LysaghtTar & Feathers January 2001
  • Kenny McCormick Memorial Medal January 2001
  • Clueless Newbie of the Month April 2001
  • Coward of the Month April 2001
  • Golden Killfile January 2005


BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

16 votes...yes
02 votes...no

6 awards, for fuck's sake!  I never dreamed a kook more stupid
than Bullis would appear, yet here you are, Paulie.

THE GLOBAL VILLAGE PUMP AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Oh, for fuck's sake!  7 awards?

MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE AND ANONYPUSSY TARD!

16 votes...Derby and [Tard]
03 votes...The 4 Stooges (incumbents)

Wow!  What an achievement, circle-jerking enough to defeat the combined forces
of Greg Hall, Emmett, %, and Janithor.

HAMMER OF THOR

The winner is...STEVE CROOK OF MIXMIN!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Congratulations, Steve!

Nineteen valid ballots were received.  Many thanks to all who voted.  Until next time...

Colonel Jake, if you will have The Velvet Knights fire up the bagpipes for the recessional?

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

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