Sunday, September 30, 2012

Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, September 2012

Here follows the one true ballot for the September 2012 Usenet Kook awards. 
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt, 
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote Wrangler's 
discretion if: 

  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you are a resident of the Galactic Killfile
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have until
00:01 GMT on October 8th to cast your votes. Vote wisely; next time the
candidate might be *you*. 

NOTE TO NEW VOTERS:

It is permissible to abstain in a category.  If you are unfamiliar with the nominee, it is best to abstain, rather than vote "no"

If you are unfamiliar with a particular award, descriptions can be found here for AUK awards:

Descriptions of the AFA-B Awards In Exile are here:

Let the voting begin!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 



Kook of the Month

(vote for one)
Gordon Radavich aka Revd
Bob Milby, Jr aka Patriot Games
neither of the above

Clueless Newbie of the Month

(vote yes or no)
Beavis

Coward of the Month

(vote for one)
Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young
Bob & Carole
neither of the above

Looney Maroon Award

(vote yes or no) 
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award

(vote yes or no)
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(vote yes or no)
(Checkmate's ROT 1337 troll)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award

(vote yes or no)
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire

George Pickett Memorial Trophy

(vote yes or no) 
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Busted Urinal Award

(vote yes or no)
DP

Unabomber Surprise

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Douglas Grant Medal For Historical Revisiomism
(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award


(vote yes or no)

[Tard] Fake Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler {One Of Four}, trained by shiny kachina


AUK Mascot

(vote for one)
Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young

Emmett Gulley (incumbent)

The Charlie Sheen Memorial "WINNING" Award *
(vote for one) 

Operation Wetback aka Ras Eunuch McCarty
Greg "Greegor" Hanson
MMFC ScatBoi
David "Yads" Yadallee
Goron Radavitch aka Revd
none of the above

* All candidates placed on ballot by Executive Decision.
* Going forward nominations will be accepted for this
*Lifetime Achievement award.  Think of it as a Super Pickett,
*but not quite a Custer

Ministry of Circle Jerks

(vote for one) 

UTB Sock Drawer
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire and [Tard] Phoenix (incumbents)


AFA-B Awards In Exile

AFA-B Tinfoil Star

(vote yes or no)
Steve "Bowtie" "Rasta Khan" Young

Cleopatra Award

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  

Ed Conrad Memorial "Brain of Stone" Award

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  

Green Lantern Award

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  

Sir Robin Award

(vote yes or no)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW.  


.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

AUK Post Count, August 2012

Another relatively good month for AUK in August 2012.  Google reports the post count as 10707, making 2012 the fifth best August ever, and the best August since 2008.

21042...August 2005
18069...August 2004
14638...August 2008
13323...August 2006
10707...August 2012

The September post count is on track to be the fifth best September ever, and the best since September 2008.


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Winners! Usenet Kook Awards, August 2012


Welcome to the alt.usenet.kooks Usenet Kook Awards for August 2012.
Colonel Jake has again kindly consented to provide the music for the
processional.

Battle Without Honor, or Humanity March:
http://www.coloneljake.com/-CJdN-/0000/


JAYNE KULIKAUSKAS "CHUMP OF THE SUMMER" PIN

The winner is...PAUL G. DERBYSHIRE AND HIS BARMY ARMY!

07 votes...Derbyshire
06 votes...Raymond Karczewski
04 votes...Albatross and Emmett Gulley
04 votes...The Socky Brigade
01 votes...Hagar

Congratulations, Derbyshite!  You managed to beat a Living Christ!
For fuck's sake, you are still winning!


KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...KAREN GORDON AKA SPAMBUSTER AKA "Çons@minority#s" !

18 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Karen!  Your spambusting techniques have made you a
winner!


COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...PAUL G. DERBYSHIRE AND HIS BARMY ARMY!

14 votes...Derbyshire
05 votes...Karen Gordon

For fuck's sake, Derbyshite!  You are a WINNER in the Kanuckian Koward
Sweepstakes!


LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winner is...PATRICK MICHAEL "PADDYWHACKO" SULLIVAN AKA DAVE TV!

14 votes...yes
03 votes...no

Congratulations, Patty!


JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD

The winner is...KAREN GORDON AKA SPAMBUSTER AKA "Çons@minority#s" !

15 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congrats, Karen, it is unanimous!  You are indeed a pathetic anal
pineapple!


VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD

The winner is...YEHIEL PORAT!

09 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Porat!  I see more awards in your future.


GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...CASTALONE AKA MURPHY AKA PA AKA FLASH®

11 votes...yes
04 votes...no

No congrats from me.  You've been around long enough to know better.


SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HURT

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Oh, for fuck's sake, Derby!  Is there no end to your WINNING?


BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
02 votes...no

For fuck's sake!  Paul, this is getting to be ridiculous.


GOOFY AZZED BABBOON

The winner is...NO WINNER!

07 votes...no
03 votes...yes

Porat, if you expect to be a WINNER in this category, you will need to
try harder.


ORDER OF THE HOLY SOCKPUPPET

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

16 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Has there ever been a kook as insane and obsessed as Derbyshite?
Jesus...


BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE, TRAINED BY ACCOUNT
BANNED AND JOHNNY DOLLAR!

15 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, trainers!  Both of you have done an outstanding job
of getting Derbyshite to perform by the numbers.


RICHARD M. NIXON MEMORIAL "PATHOLOGICAL LIAR" AWARD

The winner is...OPERATION WETBACK AKA RAS EUNUCH MCCARTY!

11 votes...Ras
10 votes...Derbyshire

Congratulations, Eunuch!  Is it the Satanic Beaners who force you to
lie?


THE CHARLIE SHEEN MEMORIAL "WINNING" AWARD

The winners are...EMMETT GULLEY AND PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

06 votes...Emmett Gulley
06 votes...Derbyshite
05 votes...Yads
02 votes...Scatboi
02 votes...Ras Eunuch



Twenty-five ballots were received, 24 ballots were *cough*  deemed
valid.  Many thanks to all who took the time to participate.  Until
next time...

Colonel Jake, if you will have The Velvet Knights fire up the bagpipes
for the recessional?

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Updates

Updates to this blog and to aukhistory.org will begin Friday, September 14th.