Saturday, September 22, 2012

Winners! Usenet Kook Awards, August 2012


Welcome to the alt.usenet.kooks Usenet Kook Awards for August 2012.
Colonel Jake has again kindly consented to provide the music for the
processional.

Battle Without Honor, or Humanity March:
http://www.coloneljake.com/-CJdN-/0000/


JAYNE KULIKAUSKAS "CHUMP OF THE SUMMER" PIN

The winner is...PAUL G. DERBYSHIRE AND HIS BARMY ARMY!

07 votes...Derbyshire
06 votes...Raymond Karczewski
04 votes...Albatross and Emmett Gulley
04 votes...The Socky Brigade
01 votes...Hagar

Congratulations, Derbyshite!  You managed to beat a Living Christ!
For fuck's sake, you are still winning!


KOOK OF THE MONTH

The winner is...KAREN GORDON AKA SPAMBUSTER AKA "Çons@minority#s" !

18 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Karen!  Your spambusting techniques have made you a
winner!


COWARD OF THE MONTH

The winner is...PAUL G. DERBYSHIRE AND HIS BARMY ARMY!

14 votes...Derbyshire
05 votes...Karen Gordon

For fuck's sake, Derbyshite!  You are a WINNER in the Kanuckian Koward
Sweepstakes!


LOONEY MAROON AWARD

The winner is...PATRICK MICHAEL "PADDYWHACKO" SULLIVAN AKA DAVE TV!

14 votes...yes
03 votes...no

Congratulations, Patty!


JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD

The winner is...KAREN GORDON AKA SPAMBUSTER AKA "Çons@minority#s" !

15 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congrats, Karen, it is unanimous!  You are indeed a pathetic anal
pineapple!


VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD

The winner is...YEHIEL PORAT!

09 votes...yes
00 votes...no

Congratulations, Porat!  I see more awards in your future.


GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY

The winner is...CASTALONE AKA MURPHY AKA PA AKA FLASH®

11 votes...yes
04 votes...no

No congrats from me.  You've been around long enough to know better.


SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HURT

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
01 votes...no

Oh, for fuck's sake, Derby!  Is there no end to your WINNING?


BUSTED URINAL AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

17 votes...yes
02 votes...no

For fuck's sake!  Paul, this is getting to be ridiculous.


GOOFY AZZED BABBOON

The winner is...NO WINNER!

07 votes...no
03 votes...yes

Porat, if you expect to be a WINNER in this category, you will need to
try harder.


ORDER OF THE HOLY SOCKPUPPET

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

16 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Has there ever been a kook as insane and obsessed as Derbyshite?
Jesus...


BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD

The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE, TRAINED BY ACCOUNT
BANNED AND JOHNNY DOLLAR!

15 votes...yes
02 votes...no

Congratulations, trainers!  Both of you have done an outstanding job
of getting Derbyshite to perform by the numbers.


RICHARD M. NIXON MEMORIAL "PATHOLOGICAL LIAR" AWARD

The winner is...OPERATION WETBACK AKA RAS EUNUCH MCCARTY!

11 votes...Ras
10 votes...Derbyshire

Congratulations, Eunuch!  Is it the Satanic Beaners who force you to
lie?


THE CHARLIE SHEEN MEMORIAL "WINNING" AWARD

The winners are...EMMETT GULLEY AND PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

06 votes...Emmett Gulley
06 votes...Derbyshite
05 votes...Yads
02 votes...Scatboi
02 votes...Ras Eunuch



Twenty-five ballots were received, 24 ballots were *cough*  deemed
valid.  Many thanks to all who took the time to participate.  Until
next time...

Colonel Jake, if you will have The Velvet Knights fire up the bagpipes
for the recessional?

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

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