Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Winners! Usenet Kook Awards, October 2012

Welcome to the alt.usenet.kooks Usenet Kook Awards for October 2012.
Colonel Jake has again kindly consented to provide the music for the
processional.

Battle Without Honor, or Humanity March:
http://www.coloneljake.com/-CJdN-/0000/


Kook of the Month

The winner is...HEINRICH TEH HEINEY!

14 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, Heiney!  It's unanimous!  Can you goosestep while giving your acceptance speech?

Looney Maroon Award

The winner is...HEINRICH TEH HEINEY!

13 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations once again, Heiney!  Let's hear a Sieg Heil from you and the Albanian War Criminal! Here's an inspirational film for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl-p4VW3oiU

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(Derbyshire is not posting to Usenet)

The winner is...[TARD] OKIE AKA PHAKE PHOENIX!

12 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, [Tard] Okie!  Another unanimous decision!  You swallowed the hook, threw yourself into the boat, and gutted yourself!  Two months in a row, FFS! 

Palmjob Paddle


The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

12 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, Paul...erm, Kensi...erm, NadegdaAndyTwisted, etc!  FFS, will you ever stop spanking yourselves? (rhetorical question)



Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart


The winner is...PAUL G. "TWO-SOCKS" DERBYSHIRE!

12 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Well, Paul, what can I say?  You are the Usenet equivalent of the Energizer Bunny, winning and winning and winning...


Order of the Holey Sockpuppet


The winner is...BOB MILBY AND HIS SOCK ARMY!

12 votes...Yes
00 votes...No

Congratulations, Bob!  You and Paul are obviously honors graduates of Earl Curley University. 


Eighteen ballots were received, 15 ballots were *cough*  *cough* deemed
valid.  Many thanks to all who took the time to participate.  Until
next time...

Colonel Jake, if you will have The Velvet Knights fire up the bagpipes
for the recessional?

http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VKeverything/

Thursday, November 8, 2012

November 2012 Nominations


Kook of the Month


Ms. Kitty aka Lady Pilot.  Nominated by Fred Hall.  Second: Sweetness

Clueless Newbie of the Month

Tom Swift, Sr.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second:  Pandora
Ms. Kitty aka Lady Pilot.  Nominated by Sweetness.  Second: Gary Burnore
Rhiannon.  Nominated by Checkmate.  Second: Fred Hall

Coward of the Month

Ms. Kitty aka Lady Pilot.  Nominated by Sweetness.  Second: Gary Burnore
Paul G. Derbyshire.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Checkmate


Looney Maroon Award


Tom Swift, Sr.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Fred Hall


Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award


The Colonel.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Sweetness

Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award


(Changing IP addresses)
Paul Derbyshire.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Gary Burnore


Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award

Tom Swift, Sr.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Fred Hall
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Checkmate

George Armstrong Custer "Kicked @$$" Award


[Tard] PegBoi] {King of the PeeWees} Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Bit Rot

Unabomber Surprise

Goran Radavich aka The Revd.  Nominated by Account Banned.  Second: Gary Burnore and Checkmate


Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award


Emmett Gulley, trained by the FB Boycotters.  Nominated by Cujo.  Second: Gary Burnore

Village Pump Award


[Tard] Penix aka Alien aka Anonypussy.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Account Banned.


Office of Village Idiot


The Colonel.  Nominated by Bit Rot.  Second: Checkmate

Emmett Gulley (incumbent)







Friday, November 2, 2012

Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, October 2012

Here follows the one true ballot for the October 2012 Usenet Kook awards. 
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt, 
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote Wrangler's 
discretion if: 

  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you are a resident of the Galactic Killfile
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have until
00:01 GMT on October 10th to cast your votes. Vote wisely; next time the
candidate might be *you*. 

NOTE TO NEW VOTERS:

It is permissible to abstain in a category.  If you are unfamiliar with the nominee, it is best to abstain, rather than vote "no"

If you are unfamiliar with a particular award, descriptions can be found here for AUK awards:

Descriptions of the AFA-B Awards In Exile are here:

Let the voting begin!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Kook of the Month

(Vote yes or no)
Heinrich aka Heiney

Looney Maroon Award

(Vote yes or no)
Heinrich aka Heiney

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker

(Derbyshire is not posting to Usenet)
[Tard] Okie Phoenix aka Fake FNVW

Palmjob Paddle

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire

Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart

Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire

Order of the Holey Sockpuppet

Bob Milby aka Patriot Games