AFA-B Awards In Exile

Below are descriptions of the AFA-B Awards in Exile.  The descriptions were rescued from Usenet oblivion first by FNVW Pinku-Sensei in January 2009, and again by Account Banned in September 2012.  These descriptions are subject to change without notice as The Cabal (tinc) adapts these awards for use in alt.usenet.kooks.


https://groups.google.com/group/misc.transport.trucking/msg/8aef666fae99295a?hl=en&dmode=source



While you are certainly familiar with the AFA-B Awards, the rest of AUK may 
need a reminder.  Therefore, I present the descriptions with comments in 
parentheses.

CORE AWARDS - 

Tinfoil Star Award - The Tinfoil Star Award is awarded to the self- 
appointed Usenet police officer who stands out the most among all other 
net.nannies in a given quarter (frivolous netcopping). 


Cleopatra Award - The AFA-B Cleopatra Award is presented quarterly to the 
Queen of Denial; nominees may be of any gender. 


Thick as a Brick Award - For those who just don't get it (best single 
display of non-comprehension). 


Sir Robin Award - The Sir Robin Award is awarded quarterly for bravery in 
the face of the enemy (i.e., for notorious displays of cowardice). 

(I'll turn this into a lifetime award.)

Green Lantern Award - The Green Lantern Award is awarded for excellence in 
projection. 


Steve Winter Memorial "Steaming Mound of Hypocrisy" - The SWMSMH is awarded 
to the Usenet poster who best emulates the type of moral and intellectual 
hypocrisy displayed by Pastor Steve "False Christian Scum" Winter; failure 
to practice as thy preaches. 


Dr. Postman's "Stolen Kidney" Award - Awarded to the Usenet poster who 
gives off the most paranoid ko0ksigns; named for Dr. Postman's habit of 
asking paranoid ko0ks if the object of their fear was hiding under the bed, 
waiting to steal the ko0k's kidney; for extreme paranoia. 


Chernobyl Prize - Awarded to the poster with the best single meltdown in a 
season. 

(There is already a Drama Queen Award; I might just confine this to AFA-B 
posters or turn it into a lifetime achievement award for melting down; I 
haven't decided yet.)

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS - 

Angstrom Award and Medal - The Angstrom Award and Medal is a lifetime 
achievement award for advances in hyperdelusional physics; in honor of 
Richard CEEEE Hoaxland (lifetime achievement in weird science). 


Ed Conrad Memorial "Brain of Stone" Award - A lifetime achievement award 
for not just stupidity, but notable clinging to a stupid notion despite 
repeated demonstrations of that notion's ko0kiness (Lifetime achievement of 
idiocy). 

The AFA-B "Cain's Mark" - A lifetime achievement award that recognizes 
those posters to alt.fan.art-bell whose insubordination, insanity, 
monotony, or just plain nastiness merit permanent disqualification from 
further awards. This award shall be granted either as an executive decision 
of the Official Overseer of Kooks&Trolls in AFA-B or his designee or as a 
write-in on the regular AFA-B ballot. The latter option requires a two-
thirds supermajority of all the ballots cast in that election. 


AFA-B OFFICES - 

Office of the Viagra Junkie - The Office of the Viagra Junkie is held by 
the limpest dick on Usenet; only the truly powerless, ineffective, most 
impotent Usenet denizens are eligible. 


Office of the Wicked Witch - The Office of the Wicked Witch is held by the 
kook who proves to be in the most spectacular, consistent state of 
perpetual-meltdown. 


Offices of Karczewski, Wollmann, Stapleton & Scoville, Attorneys at fLaw--
award to those posters who best exemplify kooky legal practice, including 
mere legal threats and bad legal advice. 

1 comment:

  1. Just for historical accuracy, I'd like to point out that as OOOKATIAFA-B, I was the one who established the AFA-B awards (with much assistance from many good folx), IIRC under the banner of them being smaller, lamer and more local that the AUK awards. A pity AFA-B is now largely defunct, but it was fun while it lasted.

    ESL!
    Bookman
    AFA-B Dictator (Ret.)

    ReplyDelete